SSA Declassified

  August 16th, 2023 “Wow, what a nice tour,” I noted the hallway had cubicles. This could be useful if I got chased like in 7th and 8th grade. I wish I was returning to Liberty Academy so I could come back and trace my long-lost friend. Unfortunately, my ambitions were stopped due to a virus and an unfortunate stint in public school. However, I was back on Christian ground, hopefully, that meant sane ground, unlike at Energizer High. Spoiler, it was sane ish. After getting accepted into the school, I started the SSA plan to take the school via the democratic process of election. I scoured the internet and social pages for information about the school that could help me with my election. I tried to calculate the amount of boys and girls in each grade, so I could use crush theory and intelligence analysis on the students. I imagined the chants and the press conferences I would give. I imagined the wins I would attain over the other kids. I imagined my agents standing at attention

  0900 hrs SSA Mobile Communications Device Center August 2023 ‘rizz’ is one of the most prevalent forces of the 21st century and it would behoove SSA to investigate it and weaponize it. It's the nuclear energy of the 21st century. @TheTechBoy Teens of CSM, tell me what you know about rizz so we can investigate it. SSA Notes LV 1 For Public Release ‘Crush Theory’ Crush theory is a theory that works off the ally theory, the ACDS, and the avocado property. It states that if someone has a crush on you (and you are friendly with them) be friends with them, the crush will subside as they find flaws in you AND that they will do things for you easier than a regular kid.  (This was tried in Discovery Mountain but failed with a kid trying to get info out of someone)  Of course, this cannot be used on someone like redacted  when the theory is that she was doing it as a power play if you were to crumble to that then-national security would suffer  This leads to Rizz's research which wil

       I imagined the chants and the press conferences I would give. I imagined the wins I would attain over the other kids. I imagined my agents standing at attention chanting, “SSA Will Lead The Way!!!” This begs the question, what exactly is SSA?  Fall 2014 15:25  I grab the blue paper out of the cabinet and use it to make a sign, wait, no a drop-off box. The sign says Room 16b and I am establishing an operations base, a micronation for this new, fledgling nation. I, Ethan Wild had established a new spy/detective agency as to fight terror, to gather evidence, and to take down homeschool(ish) co-op bully, Jamie Hernandez, called, SSA.  Stylized in my cursive and signed on every document I wrote at school my reception was not that great and my cover was almost blown. However, this was just the beginning of the greatest, most powerful, intelligence agency the world has ever seen, with dominance at school, at home (which was sometimes the same place as school depending on the year), at

       I walked into Energizer High ready to take on the world. I was doing well in the polls, and my campaign slogan of "Be Real" vote for me was doing well!!! My VP appeared to do well in the polls and my campaign manager was a competent leader. By all accounts, my tech experience, intelligence, and wit should win me the election. Unfortunately, things are not as they seem.    There were three main problems with my election victory.   I was a Christian, election fraud, and popularity. The big one is my dedicated unwavering support of Christianity and creationism. Which led to my first press conference a few weeks ago on Nov 9th, 2022.        I was determined to win my race for the Presidency. I maintained my grades, got a teacher's recommendation, and even agreed to a debate with my candidate.         However…I had made a name for myself as the school's foremost Christian. Actually, it was my brand the only thing for which I was known. The homeschooled, anti-abortio