SSA Lead The Way Crush Attack And Rocket Launch

November

"Hi, Geneva!" 

"Ahh, don't scare me."

"Oh, sorry. I just walk quietly. What are you doing?"

"Just watching TikTok."

    It was a quiet day at Glory High. Nothing of note was happening, and everything was operating normally until lunchtime. SSAInetl directors in the middle and high school departments hadn't noticed anything significant since the WWV and Hazel/Maverick investigation. Valerie hadn't nuked anyone, and nothing important was happening in student government yet. All was good until lunchtime.

"Hello, Denver, Maverick, Bentley, (Nikki) Hazel."

"You don't have to be so professional," says Denver.

"Yeah, you can just say what’s up."

"Who is Nikki?"

In the background, sounds of Madden and Retro Bowl can be heard from the 9th-grade table as I wander and observe the other tables. A few of the kids talk about random stuff.

"I saw you talk to Geneva today," chimes Denver. "And Jayla, during basketball practice," adds Bentley. "Ok, and? I talk to a lot of people. It's my job to acquire intel from my many sources. Remember, as a duly elected senator for Glory Christian Academy, I strive to uphold the Constitution of Glory. To do so, I must collaborate with the incumbent Vice President of Glory High so we can work together on projects to mutually benefit the student body."

    Unfortunately, the kids at the table don't care about the constitution I solemnly swore to uphold on the day of my inauguration. Denver's rebuke is standard Gen Z fare: "Stop yapping." Next, the table begins to launch a surface-to-air ballistic crush attack. An attack that takes me back to the days of the Cold War between the geopolitical USSR-adjacent Nikki vs. the USA-affiliated SSA.

Cold February 2020

"I'm going to have the best rocket. You all will see!"

    I embarked on a plan to show my worth to the school and my intelligence so I could make it to the top of the heap. Embroiled in the SSA-Nikki crush war since that fateful day at camp, serving chases across the 2nd floor, evading questions from nosy 8th-grade reporters, and claiming ownership of a seat Nikki and I have been trading blows.

    My space force is prepared for any attack. Unfortunately, technological advantages are not ready, and our plan to bug her HQ at lunchtime is not approved. Surveillance is limited as we have to evade Nikki and her compatriots, as well as the watchful eye of Liberty Prep. David, one of my only real allies, doesn't even believe that I will beat his rocket.

    From my surveillance perch in the playscape, a place that Nikki dares not invade as it is SSA territory (and she has cheerleading/volleyball practice), I observe Molly, one of Nikki's closest allies, talking to Maverick even though I warned him not to. I told Maverick about the grave threat to national security and democracy this poses and how the powers that be caused the lies of the proxy war to infect the smaller grades due to a payoff of one of my rivals' brothers to spread misinformation.

    If only this war could be determined by a game of tag in the playscape or the 24hr Fitness play area. We have exclusive mapping abilities of the areas and know all the play areas. Some of the agency's greatest victories have come on this sacred turf. We had contingency plans for everything. However, as advanced as our intel was, school was a guerrilla war. 

    Due to unique circumstances, our brains, when placed in realistic person emulation mode, could not capture the exact frequency the others were working on. Thus, when we prepared defenses to specific questions to shoot them down, likened to Reagan's Star Wars or Israel's Iron Dome, the accuracy was akin to hearing the correct broadcast of 105.7 on 105.9. You can hear it, but it’s garbled, allowing the metaphorical rockets to break through the SSA defense forces' impenetrable defenses.

    However, this could be the space race to end all space races. I worked for weeks on my design, calculating the weights of everything using my mom's cellphone screen, cutting cardboard, and buying a mini spy camera to add to the rocket. Officially, this was to catch the glorious launch in 1080p on the nose of the rocket but unofficially as a proxy to obtain more spy equipment. I used my little Chromebook to find software to simulate the launches, adding the water pressure, weight, wind speed, and everything, even doing a test launch at home with a kit. I knew I had to beat David, I had to beat Nikki, Molly, and all her friends. This was for me, for SSA!

    On that fateful day, there was too much wind to launch, so it was postponed. This meant that the rockets, including mine, which I got special permission to create a 3D-printed nose for, would have to sit there and rot, possibly getting tampered with by unscrupulous forces.

    Nonetheless, the rocket launch happened in a staggered manner. David's went an impressive 140 feet, great for an SSA ally. Next, it was my turn. I placed the rocket on the stand, accidentally deactivated the camera, and waited 10 seconds for it to launch...it launched 30 feet into the air. It was a failure for SSA, just like the 1957 USA Vanguard satellite. As for Nikki, one of her allies had the highest rocket at 180 feet. The USSR had won the first battle in the space race, and the USA lost. I was crushed. All our hard work went to naught. Her forces could potentially bomb my house, place satellites in the air, and do so much more. We needed to be a bigger power in space.

    I still had hope that the Geneva situation would not devolve. As far as I knew, GCA did not have any space events, and I was not waiting for any of them. This needed to be stopped now."Geneva is the incumbent VICE PRESIDENT!" I screeched at the kids. "I do not," choosing my words carefully, "like her as a crush. "Will you swear on the Bible?" In fact, I will swear on a Bible right now!"

    I looked for a Bible before holding down the power button and saying, "Hi Bixby, open Bible App!" The YouVersion Bible mobile application popped up on the screen, and I placed my hand on it with my other hand up.

    "I, Ethan Shay, I do not have a crush on Geneva nor do I have a crush on anyone named after Swiss cities, though I am sure the cities are nice. We are mutual allies. As for Jayla, I do not and never had a crush on her. I was working with her to collaborate for a better future to help locate the stolen bag, and Denver and Jayla are both key allies in the 9th and 10th-grade spaces, respectively."

    As I finished my swearing-in, a note appeared at the table. This changed everything, posing a greater threat than Nikki's intrusion to SSA ever did. However, SSA will not be deterred.

Internal Press Conference:

    "I can confirm that a bilateral crush does not exist from me to anyone else. To prevent attacks like these from escalating into a nuclear war like the one we had back at Liberty, we are ramping up the anti-crush forces. First, by allowing, for the first time, a use of pushback when confronted. Second, by approving anti-crush messaging more fervently in the school, promoted by SSA anti-crush defense forces. This will prevent such attacks from happening. As Teddy Roosevelt said, 'Speak softly and carry a big stick.' We are going to have peace through strength. SSA will lead the way, and our Liberty stalemate will not happen. This shall not escalate, and SSA will fight and SSA will win. We will nip this in the proverbial bud posthaste, and operations will commence immediately."