The Dating Doctrine

     I arrived back at Glory High feeling crushed. My progress had been stymied by the loss of Christian Social Media (CSM), and my friends were gone. I’d have to rely on traditional sites to connect now, though they wouldn’t work as well. All progress on Operation Babbling Brook had come to a halt. 

    Still, the SSA must press on. Dropping sanctions against GCAM while maintaining jVn contacts seemed like the best course of action. So, I approached and Maria at the GCAM table to start a conversation. Hopefully, this campaign would succeed. According to the documents, it’s statistically more likely to be approved if someone invites me to a summit rather than SSA approaches the school directly. 

    Maria, with her unique contacts in the 10th grade—connections traditional GCAM leaders lack—could make this possible. Our investigations into GCAM-S’s backstory proved useful too. Maria had ties to jVn and had stayed out of the conflict that sparked the GCAM-jVn war. Joining GCAM had been a net benefit for her. Even Ava, the former Secretary of State, had once seen GCAM as a regression for the united girls of the 10th and 11th grades—the so-called swing grades—while SSA viewed it differently at the time. 

    Now, with GCAM pushing Summerism to no avail, and Summer reportedly working closer with the VP to get a prom approved, a swing grader with contacts across 9th to 11th grade could do wonders for us. Expanding SSA’s influence from 8th to 12th grade—into the “shining grade”—was the goal. But SSA had to tread carefully. While Geronimo declined our plan to have him infiltrate GCAM, he still ranked Maria a 25/10. SSA had credible intelligence that students had crushes on her, and getting too close could spark a war we couldn’t afford right now. Plus, SSA intelligence had previously clashed over asking “too many questions” and causing “overstimulation.” Like Hazel 1.0 before her, some didn’t see the vision—the plan for future leadership that could be theirs. Still, we needed answers. Maria could replace Christian Social Media. Hopefully, Evangelicalism still works.

“Hello, Maria.”  

“Oh, hi, Ethan! How was your week?”  

“It was okay, I guess. So, what’s that on Instagram?”  

“Oh, this isn’t Instagram—it’s TikTok…”  

Maria trailed on about the fashion of 9th graders as they looked on. I took notes while preparing my next questions, mindful of the GCAM-S rate limit.  

“Why don’t you think teens should date?”  

“It’s unconstitutional.”  

“According to what?”  

“The SSA Constitution.”  

    After our brief exchange, I decided to dig deeper. If SSA was to achieve the unbelievable, the unexpected, we’d need extraordinary measures. I returned to the table, and just when it seemed things couldn’t get worse, Hazel dropped a bombshell. “…I have a sister coming here,” she said to Geronimo. “I don’t know when, but sometime this month.” And just like that, a bomb exploded in high school geopolitics. Tomorrow, even, this mysterious, brand-new, potentially friendless person could arrive. Our prayers might have been answered. But bigger things loomed—tomorrow was also the day the pencil case mystery would be solved.

    After lunch, I approached Jayla and explained the issue with the Christian Social Media site. While working with Maria for better integration into GCAM-S was promising, Jayla was still a rising star, and SSA foreign policy aligned with her as one of GCAM’s most powerful students.  

“What do you think I should do?”  

“Oh… well, you could start a group chat or create an alt account…”  

The ideas weren’t great, but at least she tried. “Thanks, Jayla.”

    I arrived at Energizer depressed but ready to work. Jayla’s encouragement had lifted my spirits a little. After collaborating with the team at school, I headed home. Maria’s question echoed in my mind. The SSA Constitution had been invoked multiple times—to authorize war on Molly in the Battle of the Goldfish, espionage and allyship with Valerie, tape strikes on GCAM, and even to greenlight an SSA-backed Geronimo-and-Maria “date” plan. Essentially, the document’s genesis was simple: if it advances SSA goals, it’s permissible.

    But Maria had questioned a cornerstone of our policy that ensured global security at school: the anti-teen-dating law. Forged in response to the Nikka War, it was what kept SSA and the school at peace most of the time. SSA had modified the rule to accommodate Glory High’s “economy,” which ran on dating. Still, to keep the Geronimo-Maria plan viable, we needed a firm anti-dating stance to present to Maria. Thus, SSA commissioned a report.

A Succinct Response to Maria’s Query and Unapproved Dating Plan

A detailed SSA stance on teenage dating, especially regarding agents, can be found in the Constitution and a November report by SSA leaders outlining the threat crushes pose to the free world. In short:  

1. Dating compromises SSA national interests by providing blackmail material for rival entities in 9th grade, potentially jeopardizing missions.  

2. The pressure of keeping a hypothetical partner secret and happy, with little payoff, is deemed pointless.  

3. It could break parental precedent due to the lack of teenage dating laws at home.  

In this context, dating serves no purpose and thus requires no plan. A goal without a plan is not a goal. These reasons demonstrate why randomly finding someone at a mall and hoping for the best is a bad idea. However, SSA recognizes that dating drives the school’s economy. A total breakup of relationships would trigger a cataclysmic, unorganized guerrilla war, irrevocably altering the lines of geopolitics. I arrived at school the next day eager to share the report, but once again, Maria rate-limited me. Clearly, GCAM policy needs to change, and SSA must lead the way.