SSA Declassified

Glory Church September 2023:     The school-linked church sponsored an event at the church. I thought this would be a simple event but it launched the largest geopolitical/spy partnership the school had ever seen.    See as a policy, SSA was anti-teenage dating, it was in the SSA Constitution for crying out loud!!! A certain agent related to me was suspected of having a crush on someone. An internal SSA investigation with the help of undercover agents revealed that the person the crush had blonde hair and was in 10th or 11th grade.      I arrived on the church campus scanning the crowd for my news crew. A video news idea had been floated by President Allison in a meeting but the brainstorming meeting ended without an intact plan. I formulated an idea to get on-the-ground coverage of the event with my political squad members as a sign of my strength and efficiency as a political leader. Unfortunately, they could not arrive.       As I approached the church building I found the mysteriou

       It's times like these that cause you to be thankful for the things you have, like intelligence, wit, and cunning. However, that is not enough. SSA must have a team of agents to prevent another World War V. Let's up a little bit.                September 2023 After doing some detective work in the school for Hazel we have become allies. After a minor voice cloning incident, Hazel, SSA geopolitical relations are great…The agency plans to have Hazel take on the leadership of SSA and continue our legacy at Glory.      Unfortunately, it seems that Hazel does not have the geopolitical aspirations mantle of political power. And even if she did, she lost so badly in World War V, that it would not have mattered.      Hazel gets nuked by SSA frival Valerie. And boy is she like her AIO namesake. Per an SSA investigation, Hazel was dating a person that Valerie allegedly liked. (Again proving the antidating SSA policy). A combination of personality, Snapchat, anti-Hazel rhetoric,

  0750hrs GCA Auditorium Aug 29th 2023  Hi Bixby, Tape A Voice Note: "After a slight issue with the QR code I give up on the website idea and just make the link on my phone. end note." I ran around the school and show the QR code to the students. After a few minutes, about 60% of the high school has seen the video. I received good feedback from the videos and felt good about my chances.  History Class 2nd Period “And now class we will begin working in groups to make a personal state Constitution.” I’m paired up with Geneva and a few other kids and I start typing our constitution to make the state a great Christian place. It gets ratified by most of the class and beats all the other Constitutions the other groups made becoming the law of the land!!!  “You seem to know what you are doing,” says Geneva.  Yeah, I have actual political experience. Um, yeah. I read the news, especially CSN it has its own social site (CSM) and everything!!! I think I would be a great president for

  August 16th, 2023 “Wow, what a nice tour,” I noted the hallway had cubicles. This could be useful if I got chased like in 7th and 8th grade. I wish I was returning to Liberty Academy so I could come back and trace my long-lost friend. Unfortunately, my ambitions were stopped due to a virus and an unfortunate stint in public school. However, I was back on Christian ground, hopefully, that meant sane ground, unlike at Energizer High. Spoiler, it was sane ish. After getting accepted into the school, I started the SSA plan to take the school via the democratic process of election. I scoured the internet and social pages for information about the school that could help me with my election. I tried to calculate the amount of boys and girls in each grade, so I could use crush theory and intelligence analysis on the students. I imagined the chants and the press conferences I would give. I imagined the wins I would attain over the other kids. I imagined my agents standing at attention

  0900 hrs SSA Mobile Communications Device Center August 2023 ‘rizz’ is one of the most prevalent forces of the 21st century and it would behoove SSA to investigate it and weaponize it. It's the nuclear energy of the 21st century. @TheTechBoy Teens of CSM, tell me what you know about rizz so we can investigate it. SSA Notes LV 1 For Public Release ‘Crush Theory’ Crush theory is a theory that works off the ally theory, the ACDS, and the avocado property. It states that if someone has a crush on you (and you are friendly with them) be friends with them, the crush will subside as they find flaws in you AND that they will do things for you easier than a regular kid.  (This was tried in Discovery Mountain but failed with a kid trying to get info out of someone)  Of course, this cannot be used on someone like redacted  when the theory is that she was doing it as a power play if you were to crumble to that then-national security would suffer  This leads to Rizz's research which wil

       I imagined the chants and the press conferences I would give. I imagined the wins I would attain over the other kids. I imagined my agents standing at attention chanting, “SSA Will Lead The Way!!!” This begs the question, what exactly is SSA?  Fall 2014 15:25  I grab the blue paper out of the cabinet and use it to make a sign, wait, no a drop-off box. The sign says Room 16b and I am establishing an operations base, a micronation for this new, fledgling nation. I, Ethan Wild had established a new spy/detective agency as to fight terror, to gather evidence, and to take down homeschool(ish) co-op bully, Jamie Hernandez, called, SSA.  Stylized in my cursive and signed on every document I wrote at school my reception was not that great and my cover was almost blown. However, this was just the beginning of the greatest, most powerful, intelligence agency the world has ever seen, with dominance at school, at home (which was sometimes the same place as school depending on the year), at

       I walked into Energizer High ready to take on the world. I was doing well in the polls, and my campaign slogan of "Be Real" vote for me was doing well!!! My VP appeared to do well in the polls and my campaign manager was a competent leader. By all accounts, my tech experience, intelligence, and wit should win me the election. Unfortunately, things are not as they seem.    There were three main problems with my election victory.  I was a Christian, election fraud, and popularity. The big one is my dedicated unwavering support of Christianity and creationism. Which led to my first press conference a few weeks ago on Nov 9th, 2022.       I was determined to win my race for the Presidency. I maintained my grades, got a teacher's recommendation, and even agreed to a debate with my candidate.       However…I had made a name for myself as the school's foremost Christian. Actually, it was my brand the only thing for which I was known. The homeschooled, anti-abortion, p